PARENT RESOURCES

Tips for having conversations with youth

  • Create an environment where your youth feels safe asking questions and sharing their thoughts without fear of punishment or judgment. Even if conversations feel uncomfortable at first, staying calm and approachable helps build trust over time. The more supported they feel, the more likely they are to come to you when they need guidance.

  • Conversations about substance use should not be a one-time “big talk.” Starting discussions early and continuing them regularly helps normalize open communication and gives youth accurate information before they face real-life situations. Small, ongoing conversations are often more effective than one long lecture.

  • Peer pressure can be difficult to navigate, especially during middle and high school years. Talk with your youth about ways they can say no, leave uncomfortable situations, or stick to their personal values. Helping them think through boundaries ahead of time can increase their confidence in social situations.

  • Role-playing different situations can help youth feel more prepared if they are ever offered substances. Practice simple responses, exit strategies, or ways to support a friend while still making healthy choices themselves. The more they rehearse, the easier it may feel in the moment.

  • Work together to create a plan for situations where your youth may feel unsafe or pressured. This could include having a code word for needing a ride home, identifying trusted adults they can call, or talking through what to do if they witness substance use at a party or event. Having a plan in place can help youth feel supported and less alone in difficult situations.

Signs of substance use in teens

Shifts in mood & personality

  • Sullen, withdrawn, or depressed

  • Less motivated

  • Silent, uncommunicative

  • Hostile, angry, or uncooperative

  • Deceitful or secretive

  • Unable to focus

  • Sudden loss of inhibitions

  • Hyperactive or unusually elated

Behavioral changes

  • Changed relationships with family members or friends

  • Loss of interest in school, work, or other activities

  • Frequently breaking curfew

  • Stealing money or objects from family and friends

  • Has become unusually clumsy or demonstrates poor balance/coordination

Hygiene and appearance

  • Unusual smells on breath or clothes

  • Messier than usual appearance

  • Red or glassy eyes

  • Poor hygiene

  • Frequently red or flushed cheeks or face 

Physical Health

  • Frequently sick

  • Unusually tired and/or lethargic

  • Slurred speech or rapid-fire speech

  • Nosebleeds and/or runny nose

  • Sudden or dramatic weight loss or gain

  • Frequent perspiration

  • Seizures and/or vomiting

What should I do if I suspect that my child is using substances?

If you suspect your child may be using substances, try to approach the situation with calmness, curiosity, and support rather than anger or punishment. Choose a time when you can talk privately and without distractions, and focus on listening as much as speaking. Avoid accusations, ask open-ended questions, and let them know your main concern is their safety and well-being.

Keep communication open, continue checking in regularly, and seek support from trusted professionals, counselors, or healthcare providers if needed. Early support and honest conversations can make a meaningful difference.

Modeling responsible behaviors & attitudes

Over 80% of young people ages 10-18 say their parents are the leading influence on their decision whether to drink. As a parent, it is essential to model healthy behaviors for your child. Although it may not always seem like it, youth are heavily influenced by their parents’ attitudes and behaviors, especially when it comes to risky behaviors such as substance use. Sending a clear no-use message and modeling responsible adult use will set both you and your child up for success in preventing the risk of underage use.

SENDING A CLEAR "NO-USE" MESSAGE

Sending a clear and consistent message that you do not approve of underage drinking or substance use can have a powerful impact. Approach these conversations from a place of care and concern for your child’s health and safety, rather than punishment or control. Reinforce that alcohol and other substances can negatively affect the developing brain and body during adolescence.

If you are hosting a social gathering for your child, do not provide alcohol or other substances. Some parents believe that allowing teens to drink under adult supervision is a “safer” way for them to experiment, but research shows this can increase risks and normalize underage drinking. Providing alcohol to minors is both dangerous and illegal.

MODELING RESPONSIBLE ADULT USE

  • Be a consistent role model. Avoid normalizing alcohol or other substances as a coping tool or stress reliever. Model healthy ways to manage stress, such as exercise, mindfulness, or receiving support from a mental health professional.

  • Set clear boundaries and limits for yourself. If you do consume alcohol in your home, drink responsibly by keeping track of your consumption and avoiding risky use.

  • Demonstrate safe consumption and disposal. For prescription medications, store them securely, only use as prescribed, and properly dispose of unused medications. For alcohol, avoid public intoxication and driving under the influence.

PARENT RESOURCES

The KEY Coalition

As a coalition, our goal is to help keep youth safe and substance-free by providing education, resources, and support to all members of our community. We offer presentations for both parents and youth throughout New Trier Township that can be tailored to meet the specific needs and interests of your group.

In addition, we provide free prevention and safety resources for families, including locking medication bags, Deterra at-home drug deactivation kits, and naloxone. To request resources or a presentation, contact us using our contact form.

SAMHSA’s “Talk. They Hear You” Campaign

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s “Talk. They Hear You.” campaign aims to reduce underage drinking and other substance use among youth under the age of 21 by providing parents and caregivers with information and resources they need to address these issues with their children early and often.

Partnership to End Addiction - Family Resource Center

The Partnership to End Addiction is a national nonprofit organization focused on preventing substance use and supporting families impacted by addiction. Their Family Resource Center offers free, research-based information and tools to help parents and caregivers navigate prevention, early intervention, treatment, recovery, and family support. Resources include conversation guides, parenting strategies, online support groups, helplines, and educational materials designed to help families feel informed, supported, and connected throughout every stage of the process.

CDC’s “Free Mind” Campaign

The CDC’s Free Mind campaign is a youth-focused initiative designed to raise awareness about the connection between mental health and substance use among teens ages 12–17. The campaign provides free, research-based resources for teens, parents, and caregivers, including conversation guides, educational materials, interactive activities, and tools to help youth develop healthy coping strategies and reduce their risk of substance use and overdose. Free Mind emphasizes open communication, stigma reduction, and early support to help young people prioritize both their mental and physical well-being.